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This could be your life, if you enter this contest….Image

ImageToday at Nerdfoxes International, we are having a damn dance party to these hot free beats over at Free Music Archives. Quick, click the link and get dancing so you can be part of our party! And get out some snacks, parties are all better with snacks.

Ok, now that you are totally partying, a quick update: Danny and Dana have laid down some vocal stylings for the first EVERRRR Nerdfox Podcast in the history of this universe. Pretty amazing.

Also amazing: The Free Music Archives have approximately a kagillion songs that are legal to use in podcasts and other auditory projects, such as personal, private dance parties.

In honor of that, we are having a contest. Suggest some songs for us to listen to and/or put on the podcast and if we pick and/or like your song, we’ll make you a drawing of whatever you want and email it to you. A few LUCKY people may get actually mailed crayon drawings.

Just leave a link to a good song in the comments. It has to be a free song from this website. No tempting us with non-free-to-use from other websites.

UPDATE!  Also, if you fill out our survey, you can also win a prize.  The prize is a drawing.  A few lucky people will win a drawing of themselves riding a unicorn across the hull of a Starship Enterprise.  The class/registry is your choice.

 

Submit your thoughts here! 

What do you find attractive that might be surprising to the insecure nerdfox?
Chess.

What do you, as a nerdfox, struggle with the most in the romantic or
social arena?
The fact that I’m painfully awkward all the time and think that by acting nervous and afraid I’m somehow going to wrangle hearts.

What are good first lines if you don’t really know someone?
Insult something awful you have in common (exams, neighbors from Ohio, etc.).

How do you let someone know you want to spend more time with them in a
manner which could potentially lead to a romantic connection (AKA a
date in the non-nerdfox world)?
Ask them to a movie! The two of you don’t even have to talk. If you’re paying for it, he or she can’t lose.

How do you initiate a smooch?
Changes every time.

How do you gently correct romantic mishaps?
Cute giggles and toplessness.

Why should someone date a nerdfox? What are the benefits?
The nerdfox will stay with that person forever, unable to better their situation.

How do you find nerd foxes?
Nerd foxes leave their scent on trees so that they can gather in forest clearings.

Good flirting tips
Pants that make your ass look hot. More subtle than a low-cut shirt, plus, the ass is often underappreciated by the average nerdfox. But not intentionally. He just doesn’t realize what he’s missing.

Worse pick up lines
-Come be my comfy pillow. I have a king sized bed and no one to share it with.
-Bone me now

Best pick up lines
(tell me, I need some)

These were an old reader submission and I thought they were really nice and simple. Do you also have nice, friendly advice for fellow nerdfoxes? Submit them via our nerdfox survey! 

General do’s and don’ts:

Do:
1) Talk to that fabulous nerdfox you are interested in!  They’re never going to know you are interested if you don’t.
2) Say whatever comes to your mind.  It will make the conversations interesting and allow you to be yourself.  Relationships are always more successful when you are exactly who you want to be, not pretending or trying to be someone else.

Don’t:
1) Don’t worry about having all the right moves or the right words.  The good nerdfox, being an astute observer, will recognize your brilliant character and amazing talents, no matter how awkward you think you are being.

One of the basic tenets of nerdfoxyism is that lovin’ is just another thing that we do, it doesn’t define us as people.  A key secret to nerdfox romance is being an interesting person that doesn’t need romance, per se, to be an excellent addition to society.  Romance is fun, but it isn’t the most important thing about us.

The thing is, love and romance sure does take time away from other cool things we could be doing. For example: pretty much at least half of all songs and movies ever, are about love, and romance, etc. (As a side note: a lot of the rest are about war and killing each other, which is also generally a pretty huge waste of time. And sometimes songs/stories are about love AND killing, but I digress.)

So, ok, and, a lot of those songs are really good and make us cry or laugh or have other powerful human feelings. But what other problems could we have solved if we weren’t endlessly fretting over lame people who don’t love us back, etc?

Perhaps this might be especially true for women? Or at least stereotype-ily true for women? Since women especially need to be in a relationship to not be considered crazy spinsters?

If we added up all the time we’d spent thinking about romance and channeled that into more productive things, we’d be so much cooler and happier. Oh well. You only have one day to be happy, and that’s today.

Things to do besides love as culled from some readers:

learn to knit, start a club for people with similar hobbies, go hitchhiking and regular hiking, finish crafty projects, make coloring books, garden, travel, meet new people, talk to old people about how life used to be, volunteer with young kids and make them laugh, rabblerouse for social justice, go to the beach, talk to family, write letters to grandmas, write letters to people in prison, view art exhibits, go out to eat tasty food, explore the woods, learn the names of trees and flowers, dumpster dive, learn how to cook really crazy dishes, learn how to throw pots, get good at guitar, learn how to use a four track recording device, to research, read more about political theory, write angry letters to our ineffectual politicians, tell jokes, build furniture, learn about history, figure out basic world geography, climb in volcanoes, learn another language, go to school in Europe, move to Alaska, go somewhere totally intimidating, pick blackberries, hunt for molly moochers, make wind chimes, build a porch to sit on and listen to wind chimes, watch the sunrise, take photographs, listen to music, dance like crazy, make connections between humans that aren’t about smooching them, and sometimes, when we have the time and it is worth our awesome energy, smooch them.

What else could we be doing besides laying on the bed waiting for that certain someone to call?

Because all great and terrible things are brought to us on this mortal earth in pairs of threes, so the nerdfox overlords have deemed that there should be a third edition of Nerdfoxes Internationale Inc’s zine, “The Nerdfox’s Guide to Loving Nerdfoxes.” As it is written, as it is done (in bed!).

This is a call for submissions. Please forward it near and yonder, and also, over there, and maybe several other places you can think of.

Please send in submissions by December 1st. We need to get this zine done by Jan. 1st so that we can help all the nerdfoxes achieve their New Year’s Resolution of being less sad and more world champion awesome-tron. 

If this date doesn’t work for you, email nerdfox@gmail.com and check in. The Nerdfox overlords are a lenient folk. 

Feel free to read/view existing nerdfox zines for context.

AND ALSO Here are some submission guidelines:

Please send your responses, hilarious anecdotes, cool math jokes, feelings and questions, cartoons, arts, songs, performance art pieces, poems, favorite recipes, night time fantasies and harlequin romances (especially your harlequin romances!) to nerdfox @ gmail . com.

Please also send your nerdfox quandaries – what romantic puzzles would you like our editorial board to solve for you?

Your payment will be a pdf copy of the zine, the narcissistic thrill of seeing your name in print, and knowing that you did what you could to help the hopeless be happy. Also some randomly chosen contributors may receive nerd-themed stitchery. It could happen! No promises.

Send any submissions to the Nerdfoxes Guide to Loving Nerdfoxes zine to Nerdfox AT gmail.com

Take Our VERY IMPORTANT Nerdfox Survey