Archives for category: Smooching it up

We humbly (ok, pretty braggily actually, screw humility!) present to you the first ever Nerdfox Radio Podcast in the history of the multi-verse. Titled:

Dreams, Dates, Drawing Maps and the Foot Long Challengs: First Ever Nerdfox Podcast Radio Show

Click here to listen: Nerdfox Podcast 1 Dreams and Dates (PS. We’ll upgrade this format soon)

Join Danny, Dana, and special guest Jenny as they discuss dream interpretation, share a nerdfox submission titled, “How to Take a Nerdfox to Smoocherville” and tell you everything you need to know about first dates.

NOTE: Thanks to FreeMusicArchive and Juanitos for the hot tunes used.

ALSO: Nothing in this podcast was fact checked. Who do you think we are, This American Life?

AND: Before, after, or while you’re listening, don’t forget to submit your ideas and by leaving a comment below, filling out our survey, or emailing If you can help us figure out the technology, maybe you can even be a guest star of a future podcast.  Either way, it’s quite likely you’ll receive an amazing prize.

ONE LAST THING: If you want to download this and save it forever (and ever) you can right click on the page where you listen to it and push “save as”


Spoiler Alert! If you haven’t read the Lord of the Rings, well, why not! Jiminy Crickets!  ! At least watch the movies, and the extended edition, please! All nine hours. They make a great date.

So, there is a LOoOooOve story in the Lord of the Rings, and it provides an excellent lesson in Nerdfoxy Pick Up Lines and some admirable Nerdfox sass. Below, with commentary (from Return of the King, Chapter 5: The Steward and the King):

Then she raised her head and looked at him in the eyes again; and a colour came in her pale face. “How should I ease your care, my lord?” she said. “And I do not desire the speech of living men.”

[Editor’s Note: Folks, this is a great thing to say in a bar to people trying to hit on you, also, to religious people who come knocking on your door.  Also, most of the time, for me, it is true. Say it with me: “I do not desire the speech of living men.” Yesssss.]

“Would you have my plain answer?” he said.

[Editor’s Note: Yes, always a plain answer, straightforwardness is the officially recommended approach from Nerdfoxes Intl., except when we recommend slinking around an issue to avoid awkwardness.]

There’s more – click to read more!

Read the rest of this entry »

More submissions for our readers – what will you submit? 

What do you find attractive that might be surprising to the insecure nerdfox?

heated conversations about quarks, boys who give me books to read, boys who read the books i give them, when they listen to justin timberlake and like it, when they talk articulately about their dissertation, when they wish they had brought their apples to apples board game over so we could play. when they get lost driving because they are busy flirting with me * reserved, shy kissers *  winners of the golden horseshoe award, when they rock the moon-boots proudly, when they know exactly what wine to order, when they want to try my salad, when they want to go see documentary movies about bugs. when they ask me good questions. when they are really modest about playing an instrument or doing something really well.

What do you, as a nerdfox, struggle with the most in the romantic or social arena?

clamming up around beautiful eco-babe nerdfoxes, meeting and connecting with other nerdfoxes, mingling with nerdfoxes, finding and keeping true nerdfoxes.

What are good first lines if you don’t really know someone?

Hey, do you play apples to apples?

How do you initiate a smooch?

i’ve heard from a reputable source that “hey…wanna kiss” works wonders. I have also suggested snuggling, which usually leads to some smooching and often more than smooching. offering someone some of your mango works wonders, too. drinking a giant mag of wine together and watching bad movies is also a well-trod path to smooch-land.

How do you gently correct romantic mishaps?

i move.

How do you find nerd foxes?

seek them out in libraries, music halls, music stores, coffee shops, book stores, architecture schools, chem labs, tea houses, rallies, mensa meetings, chess club, art galleries, movie theaters, art communes, apple stores, college towns, and contra dances.

General do’s and don’ts :

do tell me i’m a “good humper”. do give me good books to read. do cultivate an interest in strange trivia.

Worse pick up lines:

“do you play tennis?”

“i have heat sensor glasses on. i saw your body heat”

One of the hallmarks of a nerdfox is an interest in researching something exhaustively before/while/after doing it. For many nerdfoxes this, natually, includes “doing it.”  And if it doesn’t, why not?

Many nerdfoxes are socially awkward introverted, which can result in minor to crippling social anxiety. It can be soothing to prepare oneself for social activities by researching said activities before attempting to engage in them. It can also result in fun small talk, if you think, that, for example, knowing about the marble used to build the Washington monument is really interesting.

Do you sometimes research hot dogs while eating a hot dog? If not, how are you supposed to know how people eat hot dogs in Iceland?  Do you research red solo cups before going to a kegger? Do you research the self-awareness of dolphins after going to Sea World and/or when drunk/can’t sleep?

So why not research on-line dating tendencies before/during/after on-line dating or dating in general? Maybe you already do this and you don’t need convinced. But if you want to learn about on-line dating and the people who do it (and “do it”), I highly recommend the fascinating blog at OkCupid.

What resources do you use to research romantic inquiries?

(Excerpted from the first Nerdfox Zine)

There are a lot of things you shouldn’t do in this life. It is my belief however, that mistakes are made to be forgiven, and there is no romantic mishap beyond redemption, not even tucking your sweatpants into your socks. So if you are guilty of some of the things below, take heart. Look, if it’s really meant to be, you’re not going to ruin it by blathering on and on about a jam in the copier at work and how annoying the 80 lb copy paper is and OH, that reminds me, let me tell you about the history of my arch supports.

If your potential smoocher is really worthy of your cosmic babe-ness, they will have the wisdom to see how awesome you are despite your tendency towards verbal diarrhea or the fact that you tuck your socks into your sweatpants. And if they aren’t smart enough to see how awesome you are, punch them in the nuts. Or ovaries. Or whatever they’ve got. Punch and run, people. Punch and run. We don’t have time for philistines who don’t appreciate us despite our faults.

That being said, it never hurts to at least attempt to be non-pathetic. To that end, we provide the following tips, culled from the wisdom of our readers:

  • Don’t develop the verbal diarrhea approach as this will not work. Even if you have to put both hands over your mouth. Eat something. Smoke a cigarette. Flog yourself. Stop talking.
  • Don’t forget to talk, as being painfully awkward, nervous and afraid is not the most efficient way to wrangle hearts.
  • Don’t be the person who nerdfoxes have to club repeatedly over the head to let them know they are interested. For example: Dreamy love interest of space and time writes an email stating “I think you’re awesome” and you think, “I wonder if they like me?”
  • Don’t create elaborate super secret spy codes to express yourself and hope the other person reads your super secret meaning. (e.g. “I enjoy the cinema, sometimes…” does not equal “Would you like to go see a film together?” “I have a computer” does not equal “We should keep in touch via our computers” )
  • When possible, avoid spilling your entire romantic history the first night. Sometimes it’s important; usually it’s awkward, and also, probably boring.

Any more? Let us know. We need your help.

(As seen in the second nerdfox zine)
First—It’s so important to keep consensuality in mind, and to realize that all of us have been through different things, and some people take certain aspects of sexuality very seriously, and I respect that. At the same time, I have spent a lot of time listening to my friends crybaby around because they want to kiss on some really cool person who thinks they are really cool too and never get around to doing it. Which is just plain silliness.

Step One:Remember you are lovable and capable. You are good at lots of things. You are complex, multi-faceted and have a lively mind. And you enjoy smooching. And other people enjoy smooching too. We are all grown ups here, and there is no reason why two grown ups can’t enjoy something enjoyable together.

Step Two:Think about how you would feel if an intelligent attractive, fascinating specimen, much like you, (but who isn’t you) approached you in a romantic but respectful way. Say you are not interested, would you feel flattered nonetheless? Say you are interested, would you feel happy about having someone nice and smart and good looking to smooch on?

Step Three:Find a being worthy of your time and cosmic babe energy. You are worth a lot, by the way. My personal advice is to avoid nihilists, addicts, materialistic freaks, body builders, serial killers, crybabies and people who are married/partnered whose romantic partner is not aware that you are making out with their romantic partner. Also people you work with or who are related to and/or are actually your best friends or who recently smooched it up with your best friends might be problematic choices as well. But to each their own, naturally.

Step Four:Since we are all grown ups, act like a grown up. You don’t have to putz around for ten years trying to figure out some kind of super smooth move. Try one of these grown up lines:

“Would you like some tea, water, coffee? To make out?”

“I think you’re nice. If you wanted to smooch, I would like that, if not, that’s ok too.”

“Can I kiss you?”

“I have a theory that two people snuggling is better than two people not snuggling—do you adhere to that school of thought?”

Step Four:Smooch your face off. Or if they politely decline, feel good that you were so respectful of them and that they trusted you enough to be honest. Realize that all people are different and have different motivations that have nothing to do with you. Do not be an ego-maniac and pretend that other people’s decisions are all about you—they have their own reasons and it’s not because your butt is too big/small or because you are unlovable or whatever. Get over yourself. Move on. Do not be a drama queen and pretend you will die alone because you were not compatible with this one single person on the entire earth.

Step Five: Be nice and respectful and responsible of your feelings and bodies.Being responsible is hot.Treat the person like you like them for who they are, and like you want them to be happy. And if they don’t treat you the same way, punch them in the nuts and run! You are precious, and you are wonderful, and you don’t owe those lousy bastards a thing.

Lastly:If you are the sort that loses all ability to speak in these situations, you might try writing down a phrase on your hand and just holding it up. Don’t sweat so much the ink runs, though!

If your hands are really sweaty, maybe a business card would work better?