Archives for category: Nerd Romance

We humbly (ok, pretty braggily actually, screw humility!) present to you the first ever Nerdfox Radio Podcast in the history of the multi-verse. Titled:

Dreams, Dates, Drawing Maps and the Foot Long Challengs: First Ever Nerdfox Podcast Radio Show

Click here to listen: Nerdfox Podcast 1 Dreams and Dates (PS. We’ll upgrade this format soon)

Join Danny, Dana, and special guest Jenny as they discuss dream interpretation, share a nerdfox submission titled, “How to Take a Nerdfox to Smoocherville” and tell you everything you need to know about first dates.

NOTE: Thanks to FreeMusicArchive and Juanitos for the hot tunes used.

ALSO: Nothing in this podcast was fact checked. Who do you think we are, This American Life?

AND: Before, after, or while you’re listening, don’t forget to submit your ideas and by leaving a comment below, filling out our survey, or emailing If you can help us figure out the technology, maybe you can even be a guest star of a future podcast.  Either way, it’s quite likely you’ll receive an amazing prize.

ONE LAST THING: If you want to download this and save it forever (and ever) you can right click on the page where you listen to it and push “save as”


We thought our Nerdfox Readers would appreciate this thoughtful analysis on the pop-culture phenomenon of the “Friend zone.” Like many things in pop-culture, it seems sort of accurate, but secretly it might be rotting out your brain and ruining your ability to have authentic relationships with humans as equal humans. Read more than the quote below for some thoughtful thoughts full of thinking.

From Foz Meadows on Tumblr: 

I cannot state this clearly enough: if you really believe in equality, then you have to acknowledge the fact that women have a right to say no. That no matter how pure and true your feelings, your ladylove is under no obligation whatever to reciprocate them, because friendship is not a business transaction, and women are allowed to want male friends. Yes, it is difficult and sad and heartbreaking to love someone who doesn’t love you back, and doubly so when that person is a friend. Believe me; I speak from experience. This is not a fun thing to endure! But discounting the woman as a bitch, a user, a timewaster, a whore with no taste who only wants to sleep with arseholes instead of Nice Guys like you is not on. It is pure, unadulterated sexism: the attitude that friendship with a woman is only ever a stepping-stone to getting into her pants, such that if the pants-getting is off the table, then so too is the friendship.

Which, frankly, is bullshit. If you don’t care enough about someone to enjoy their company and respect their decisions when sex is off the table, then that person is right not to sleep with you, because enjoying someone’s company and respecting their decisions is pretty much how sex gets on the table to start with.

Spoiler Alert! If you haven’t read the Lord of the Rings, well, why not! Jiminy Crickets!  ! At least watch the movies, and the extended edition, please! All nine hours. They make a great date.

So, there is a LOoOooOve story in the Lord of the Rings, and it provides an excellent lesson in Nerdfoxy Pick Up Lines and some admirable Nerdfox sass. Below, with commentary (from Return of the King, Chapter 5: The Steward and the King):

Then she raised her head and looked at him in the eyes again; and a colour came in her pale face. “How should I ease your care, my lord?” she said. “And I do not desire the speech of living men.”

[Editor’s Note: Folks, this is a great thing to say in a bar to people trying to hit on you, also, to religious people who come knocking on your door.  Also, most of the time, for me, it is true. Say it with me: “I do not desire the speech of living men.” Yesssss.]

“Would you have my plain answer?” he said.

[Editor’s Note: Yes, always a plain answer, straightforwardness is the officially recommended approach from Nerdfoxes Intl., except when we recommend slinking around an issue to avoid awkwardness.]

There’s more – click to read more!

Read the rest of this entry »

I wrote this quote down on a scrap of paper – where is it from?

“Romance is like hitting yourself in the face with a hammer to distract yourself from the tractor on your chest.”


Submit your thoughts here! 

What do you find attractive that might be surprising to the insecure nerdfox?

What do you, as a nerdfox, struggle with the most in the romantic or
social arena?
The fact that I’m painfully awkward all the time and think that by acting nervous and afraid I’m somehow going to wrangle hearts.

What are good first lines if you don’t really know someone?
Insult something awful you have in common (exams, neighbors from Ohio, etc.).

How do you let someone know you want to spend more time with them in a
manner which could potentially lead to a romantic connection (AKA a
date in the non-nerdfox world)?
Ask them to a movie! The two of you don’t even have to talk. If you’re paying for it, he or she can’t lose.

How do you initiate a smooch?
Changes every time.

How do you gently correct romantic mishaps?
Cute giggles and toplessness.

Why should someone date a nerdfox? What are the benefits?
The nerdfox will stay with that person forever, unable to better their situation.

How do you find nerd foxes?
Nerd foxes leave their scent on trees so that they can gather in forest clearings.

Good flirting tips
Pants that make your ass look hot. More subtle than a low-cut shirt, plus, the ass is often underappreciated by the average nerdfox. But not intentionally. He just doesn’t realize what he’s missing.

Worse pick up lines
-Come be my comfy pillow. I have a king sized bed and no one to share it with.
-Bone me now

Best pick up lines
(tell me, I need some)

More submissions for our readers – what will you submit? 

What do you find attractive that might be surprising to the insecure nerdfox?

heated conversations about quarks, boys who give me books to read, boys who read the books i give them, when they listen to justin timberlake and like it, when they talk articulately about their dissertation, when they wish they had brought their apples to apples board game over so we could play. when they get lost driving because they are busy flirting with me * reserved, shy kissers *  winners of the golden horseshoe award, when they rock the moon-boots proudly, when they know exactly what wine to order, when they want to try my salad, when they want to go see documentary movies about bugs. when they ask me good questions. when they are really modest about playing an instrument or doing something really well.

What do you, as a nerdfox, struggle with the most in the romantic or social arena?

clamming up around beautiful eco-babe nerdfoxes, meeting and connecting with other nerdfoxes, mingling with nerdfoxes, finding and keeping true nerdfoxes.

What are good first lines if you don’t really know someone?

Hey, do you play apples to apples?

How do you initiate a smooch?

i’ve heard from a reputable source that “hey…wanna kiss” works wonders. I have also suggested snuggling, which usually leads to some smooching and often more than smooching. offering someone some of your mango works wonders, too. drinking a giant mag of wine together and watching bad movies is also a well-trod path to smooch-land.

How do you gently correct romantic mishaps?

i move.

How do you find nerd foxes?

seek them out in libraries, music halls, music stores, coffee shops, book stores, architecture schools, chem labs, tea houses, rallies, mensa meetings, chess club, art galleries, movie theaters, art communes, apple stores, college towns, and contra dances.

General do’s and don’ts :

do tell me i’m a “good humper”. do give me good books to read. do cultivate an interest in strange trivia.

Worse pick up lines:

“do you play tennis?”

“i have heat sensor glasses on. i saw your body heat”

One of the basic tenets of nerdfoxyism is that lovin’ is just another thing that we do, it doesn’t define us as people.  A key secret to nerdfox romance is being an interesting person that doesn’t need romance, per se, to be an excellent addition to society.  Romance is fun, but it isn’t the most important thing about us.

The thing is, love and romance sure does take time away from other cool things we could be doing. For example: pretty much at least half of all songs and movies ever, are about love, and romance, etc. (As a side note: a lot of the rest are about war and killing each other, which is also generally a pretty huge waste of time. And sometimes songs/stories are about love AND killing, but I digress.)

So, ok, and, a lot of those songs are really good and make us cry or laugh or have other powerful human feelings. But what other problems could we have solved if we weren’t endlessly fretting over lame people who don’t love us back, etc?

Perhaps this might be especially true for women? Or at least stereotype-ily true for women? Since women especially need to be in a relationship to not be considered crazy spinsters?

If we added up all the time we’d spent thinking about romance and channeled that into more productive things, we’d be so much cooler and happier. Oh well. You only have one day to be happy, and that’s today.

Things to do besides love as culled from some readers:

learn to knit, start a club for people with similar hobbies, go hitchhiking and regular hiking, finish crafty projects, make coloring books, garden, travel, meet new people, talk to old people about how life used to be, volunteer with young kids and make them laugh, rabblerouse for social justice, go to the beach, talk to family, write letters to grandmas, write letters to people in prison, view art exhibits, go out to eat tasty food, explore the woods, learn the names of trees and flowers, dumpster dive, learn how to cook really crazy dishes, learn how to throw pots, get good at guitar, learn how to use a four track recording device, to research, read more about political theory, write angry letters to our ineffectual politicians, tell jokes, build furniture, learn about history, figure out basic world geography, climb in volcanoes, learn another language, go to school in Europe, move to Alaska, go somewhere totally intimidating, pick blackberries, hunt for molly moochers, make wind chimes, build a porch to sit on and listen to wind chimes, watch the sunrise, take photographs, listen to music, dance like crazy, make connections between humans that aren’t about smooching them, and sometimes, when we have the time and it is worth our awesome energy, smooch them.

What else could we be doing besides laying on the bed waiting for that certain someone to call?