Archives for category: Flirting – eep!

We thought our Nerdfox Readers would appreciate this thoughtful analysis on the pop-culture phenomenon of the “Friend zone.” Like many things in pop-culture, it seems sort of accurate, but secretly it might be rotting out your brain and ruining your ability to have authentic relationships with humans as equal humans. Read more than the quote below for some thoughtful thoughts full of thinking.

From Foz Meadows on Tumblr: 

I cannot state this clearly enough: if you really believe in equality, then you have to acknowledge the fact that women have a right to say no. That no matter how pure and true your feelings, your ladylove is under no obligation whatever to reciprocate them, because friendship is not a business transaction, and women are allowed to want male friends. Yes, it is difficult and sad and heartbreaking to love someone who doesn’t love you back, and doubly so when that person is a friend. Believe me; I speak from experience. This is not a fun thing to endure! But discounting the woman as a bitch, a user, a timewaster, a whore with no taste who only wants to sleep with arseholes instead of Nice Guys like you is not on. It is pure, unadulterated sexism: the attitude that friendship with a woman is only ever a stepping-stone to getting into her pants, such that if the pants-getting is off the table, then so too is the friendship.

Which, frankly, is bullshit. If you don’t care enough about someone to enjoy their company and respect their decisions when sex is off the table, then that person is right not to sleep with you, because enjoying someone’s company and respecting their decisions is pretty much how sex gets on the table to start with.


Spoiler Alert! If you haven’t read the Lord of the Rings, well, why not! Jiminy Crickets!  ! At least watch the movies, and the extended edition, please! All nine hours. They make a great date.

So, there is a LOoOooOve story in the Lord of the Rings, and it provides an excellent lesson in Nerdfoxy Pick Up Lines and some admirable Nerdfox sass. Below, with commentary (from Return of the King, Chapter 5: The Steward and the King):

Then she raised her head and looked at him in the eyes again; and a colour came in her pale face. “How should I ease your care, my lord?” she said. “And I do not desire the speech of living men.”

[Editor’s Note: Folks, this is a great thing to say in a bar to people trying to hit on you, also, to religious people who come knocking on your door.  Also, most of the time, for me, it is true. Say it with me: “I do not desire the speech of living men.” Yesssss.]

“Would you have my plain answer?” he said.

[Editor’s Note: Yes, always a plain answer, straightforwardness is the officially recommended approach from Nerdfoxes Intl., except when we recommend slinking around an issue to avoid awkwardness.]

There’s more – click to read more!

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More submissions for our readers – what will you submit? 

What do you find attractive that might be surprising to the insecure nerdfox?

heated conversations about quarks, boys who give me books to read, boys who read the books i give them, when they listen to justin timberlake and like it, when they talk articulately about their dissertation, when they wish they had brought their apples to apples board game over so we could play. when they get lost driving because they are busy flirting with me * reserved, shy kissers *  winners of the golden horseshoe award, when they rock the moon-boots proudly, when they know exactly what wine to order, when they want to try my salad, when they want to go see documentary movies about bugs. when they ask me good questions. when they are really modest about playing an instrument or doing something really well.

What do you, as a nerdfox, struggle with the most in the romantic or social arena?

clamming up around beautiful eco-babe nerdfoxes, meeting and connecting with other nerdfoxes, mingling with nerdfoxes, finding and keeping true nerdfoxes.

What are good first lines if you don’t really know someone?

Hey, do you play apples to apples?

How do you initiate a smooch?

i’ve heard from a reputable source that “hey…wanna kiss” works wonders. I have also suggested snuggling, which usually leads to some smooching and often more than smooching. offering someone some of your mango works wonders, too. drinking a giant mag of wine together and watching bad movies is also a well-trod path to smooch-land.

How do you gently correct romantic mishaps?

i move.

How do you find nerd foxes?

seek them out in libraries, music halls, music stores, coffee shops, book stores, architecture schools, chem labs, tea houses, rallies, mensa meetings, chess club, art galleries, movie theaters, art communes, apple stores, college towns, and contra dances.

General do’s and don’ts :

do tell me i’m a “good humper”. do give me good books to read. do cultivate an interest in strange trivia.

Worse pick up lines:

“do you play tennis?”

“i have heat sensor glasses on. i saw your body heat”

By Brett, (As seen in Nerdfox Zine Issue One!)
Always try to use two hands when pushing up your glasses on your nose – it shows you are twice as interested than if you use one hand. Unless you are trying to show off, then use one hand, employing one knuckle or one finger at your discretion. In this case the index finger usually works best, but it generally lacks pizzazz.

If you really want to set yourself apart from the crowd, try a different finger (I sometimes use my pinky if I’m feeling quite confident.)

If you are NOT using two hands, it is advisable to ALWAYS push up your glasses at their middle point (the bridge area that rests on the nose) in a maneuver known as the “center-push”. This aids in avoiding uneven positioning.

Unless you are extremely well practiced at the fine art of the super-sexy “one-handed SIDE-push”, I would stick with the center-push when using one hand. Remember to exercise caution when using the center-push, as even the slightest mis-calculation can lead to a lens smudge, which may or may not be a big deal depending on when you last washed your hands and to what extent the smudge impairs your vision.

Bottom line:

the person you are flirting with may not even notice how you go about pushing up your glasses, but don’t let that stop you from having fun with it. Play around with it: try different finger/knuckle combinations, or introduce a tool (spoon, stick, etc).

Another area growing in popularity lately is the “group-push”, whereby, for example, you arrange to have a friend or group of friends periodically walk by and push up your glasses
for you while you flirt with someone.

Finally, if you wear a strap or some other type of restraining device around the back of your head to hold your glasses in place,

then all this is meaningless to you because you have already achieved the ultimate in sex appeal, and you certainly don’t need any flirting advice from me.

(Excerpted from the first Nerdfox Zine)

There are a lot of things you shouldn’t do in this life. It is my belief however, that mistakes are made to be forgiven, and there is no romantic mishap beyond redemption, not even tucking your sweatpants into your socks. So if you are guilty of some of the things below, take heart. Look, if it’s really meant to be, you’re not going to ruin it by blathering on and on about a jam in the copier at work and how annoying the 80 lb copy paper is and OH, that reminds me, let me tell you about the history of my arch supports.

If your potential smoocher is really worthy of your cosmic babe-ness, they will have the wisdom to see how awesome you are despite your tendency towards verbal diarrhea or the fact that you tuck your socks into your sweatpants. And if they aren’t smart enough to see how awesome you are, punch them in the nuts. Or ovaries. Or whatever they’ve got. Punch and run, people. Punch and run. We don’t have time for philistines who don’t appreciate us despite our faults.

That being said, it never hurts to at least attempt to be non-pathetic. To that end, we provide the following tips, culled from the wisdom of our readers:

  • Don’t develop the verbal diarrhea approach as this will not work. Even if you have to put both hands over your mouth. Eat something. Smoke a cigarette. Flog yourself. Stop talking.
  • Don’t forget to talk, as being painfully awkward, nervous and afraid is not the most efficient way to wrangle hearts.
  • Don’t be the person who nerdfoxes have to club repeatedly over the head to let them know they are interested. For example: Dreamy love interest of space and time writes an email stating “I think you’re awesome” and you think, “I wonder if they like me?”
  • Don’t create elaborate super secret spy codes to express yourself and hope the other person reads your super secret meaning. (e.g. “I enjoy the cinema, sometimes…” does not equal “Would you like to go see a film together?” “I have a computer” does not equal “We should keep in touch via our computers” )
  • When possible, avoid spilling your entire romantic history the first night. Sometimes it’s important; usually it’s awkward, and also, probably boring.

Any more? Let us know. We need your help.